How Do You Know When It’s Time To Get a Divorce? (or…is it time for me to get a divorce?)
I get asked this question all the time by people calling the office, seeking answers, a direction they should move towards. Often I feel that they’re asking not because they don’t know the answer, but they’re seeking permission from someone – anyone.
You Probably Have Many Questions
There are a lot of other questions you can ask yourself when you’re on the edge of divorce. How will this affect the kids? What will my parents/friends/family think? How do I explain it to my family/his family? Will we have enough money to live on? I’ve stayed home to take care of the kids…do I have to go back to work? Who will take care of the kids? What if we can’t agree on custody? Can I stay in the house?
These are all very valid questions but as I tell people who call my office, I can answer and analyze all of those questions for you, but you’re not asking the right question. The most important question is, do you still want to be married to him/her? It’s simple and hard to answer that question, but unless you can tell me the answer, there’s nothing I can do to help you. A ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer to that question, dictates the answers to all the other questions above. If you do still want to be married, then nothing else matters. If you don’t want to be married, then I can help you start to plan the beginning of the rest of your life.
So, how do you know when it’s time to get a divorce? You tell me. Unless you’re ready to tell me, then you’re not ready for me to help you.